Tag Archives: Rants

The Hell With It, Everyone Make an SUV

I want every car company to make an SUV. Ferrari. McLaren. Aston Martin. Bugatti. Pagani. The lot.

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Now We Know For Sure: Elon Musk Sucks Like All These Jackasses Suck

The internet, and the astounding degree of personal connection it gives to all of us, is absolutely incredible. But at the same time, it makes me nostalgic for the days when we had to wait for our heroes to die and bitter tell-all books to be published to find out what pieces of shit they were.

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Now We Know For Sure: Elon Sucks Like All These Jackasses Suck

The internet, and the astounding degree of personal connection it gives to all of us, is absolutely incredible. But at the same time, it makes me nostalgic for the days when we had to wait for our heroes to die and bitter tell-all books to be published to find out what pieces of shit they were.

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We Deserve Better Back Seats

Right now there are pretty much two kinds of rear seats you see in production cars: lounge chairs that swaddle asses in opulence, and basic benches that look like afterthoughts. We need, at least, one more variation of rear seat design.

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This Is The Worst Small Damage A Car Can Have

Not everything that happens to your car over the course of its life is a big deal. Things break over time. Parts wear out. Small things fail. We either ignore and accept them or fix them and move on. But there’s one bit of small-scale damage a car can incur that, while relatively insignificant, makes life awful: the…

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Actually The Ferrari 360 Is Good Again

For a reason that I haven’t yet surmised, some people seem to think the Ferrari 360 is boring and dumb. I am here to correct those sentiments with a sentiment of my own: The 360 is one of the best Ferraris ever.

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Filling Your Car With Stuff May Prove That You Don’t Need A Bigger Car

I got fed up with keeping spare race car parts in a separate storage unit, so I finally moved to a new place that came with a little storage room. I am cheap to the bone, though, so I moved whatever I could lift in my car, a 2010 Mitsubishi Lancer GTS. I have to say, I’m seriously surprised at how much crap it can…

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There Is No Such Thing As A Flying Car

Look at this thing. Uber calls it an “aerial taxi.” Our friends at Gizmodo call it a “flying car.” But it’s not. There are airplanes. There are helicopters. There’s no such thing as a flying car, and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying to you.

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Good God Can We Finally Replace The Lousy Emergency Brake With This

There is are extremely few circumstances when you should pull the emergency brake on a train. Like, almost zero. We should get rid of it entirely, and replace it with this thing. An emergency handle just to let the train driver know something’s up.

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Small Cars, Ride Or Die

Ford announced that it’s killing off virtually all of its cars in favor crossovers and SUVs. No more cars, because large numbers people won’t buy them. Only fat crossovers. Only ponderous SUVs. Because that’s all they want. They are morons. I stand in objection to this, and so should you.

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